First Steps After Separation

If there’s family violence or you feel unsafe: Call Police (000) immediately
DV Connect 24/7 Hotline: 1800 811 811 (free, confidential counselling)
Consider interim intervention order if protection needed
Arrange safe accommodation (family, friends, refuge) for yourself and children
Document all incidents: photos of injuries, damaged property, threatening messages
Medical records: visit GP to document injuries (important evidence later)
Police reports: file report even if you don’t press charges (creates record)

Write down the exact date you or your partner decided the relationship was over
Send yourself an email documenting the date and circumstances (creates timestamped record)
Why this matters: Need 12 months separation before divorce; property settlement time limits run from separation date
If separating under one roof: document living separately (separate bedrooms, finances, meals, social life)
Take dated photos of separate sleeping arrangements if questioned later
Tell someone trusted the date you separated (creates witness evidence)
Note in diary/calendar app — electronic records have automatic timestamps

Gather and COPY (don’t steal originals): marriage certificate, birth certificates (yours and children’s)
Passports (yours and children’s) — prevent international child abduction
Bank statements (last 12 months minimum) — photograph screens if can’t print
Property titles, vehicle registration, super statements
Tax returns (last 3 years) — yours AND joint returns
Business financial statements if self-employed
Will and power of attorney documents (yours — need updating post-separation)
Store originals somewhere your ex-partner can’t access — trusted friend’s house, lawyer’s office
Screenshot/photograph online accounts before access potentially cut off
Don’t take documents that belong solely to your ex — legal trouble isn’t worth it

Open NEW bank account in your name only (use different bank if possible)
Redirect salary to new account as soon as employer allows
Screenshot/print balances of all joint accounts on separation date (proves starting position)
Take 50% from joint accounts if needed for living expenses (don’t take more without legal advice)
Cancel joint credit cards or reduce limits to prevent debt accumulation you’re liable for
Change passwords on any joint online banking immediately
DO NOT empty joint accounts completely — looks like asset hiding
DO NOT make large purchases or withdraw large sums without agreement or legal advice
DO NOT transfer assets to family members to hide them (illegal and easily discovered)

⚠️ Why urgent: Your current will likely leaves everything to your ex-partner. If you die during separation (before updating), they inherit your entire estate.

Make completely NEW will — don’t rely on old will with crossed-out names
Appoint new executor (not your ex-partner) — choose someone you trust absolutely
Update guardianship appointments for children (if divorced/separated)
Change powers of attorney — financial AND health (ex-partner shouldn’t control these)
Update life insurance beneficiaries to remove ex-partner
Update super binding death benefit nominations — super doesn’t automatically go through will
Do this DURING separation, not after divorce finalises — death doesn’t wait for legal proceedings

⚠️Why urgent: Separation is traumatic. Making legal decisions while emotionally overwhelmed leads to poor outcomes and expensive mistakes.

Individual counselling helps process emotions and think clearly about future
Relationships Australia: 1300 364 277 (counselling, separation support groups)
Children’s counselling if showing distress — school counsellor or private psychologist
Join separation support groups — online or in-person (you’re not alone)
Lean on trusted friends/family for emotional support (but be careful about legal ‘advice’)
Self-care: exercise, sleep, healthy eating — stress management critical for decision-making
Avoid self-medicating with alcohol or drugs — problems multiply, don’t disappear

⚠️ Why urgent: Verbal agreements are forgotten, disputed, or denied later. Written records protect both parties.

Put temporary parenting arrangements in writing — even informal email confirming agreement
Document financial agreements: who pays mortgage? Utilities? Children’s expenses?
Keep all communications in writing (email, text) — creates evidence trail
Confirm conversations in writing: ‘As we discussed today, I’ll pay the mortgage and you’ll pay…’
Save all messages — don’t delete texts or emails even if upsetting
Don’t rely on ‘gentleman’s agreements’ or handshake deals — they’re impossible to prove
Consider applying for child support through Services Australia (calculator on their website)
If temporary arrangements working well, can formalise into parenting plan later